Mentally, physically, emotionally all of the above. Have you ever felt that way?
This week started out with a memorial service for one of my Dad's sisters (he has/had 13 siblings). There has been some issues among the siblings since my Grandma passed, no before that, almost 8 years ago now. So I was kind of apprehensive about even attending. I wanted to, to see everyone I haven't seen in a LONG time but I didn't want to if the siblings were going to be fussing with each other. But they weren't and all went smoothly through that.
THEN Jason got sick and although I do most of all the chores and such around here anyways, that was just added work on me to take care of him, cleanse the house try to keep the rest of us well. Avery is doing better, still running a low grade fever tonight but doesn't act like it's really bothering him. He's had a little tummy issue today and hasn't ate much but seems to be doing okay. We've (my mom & I) deduced they must have picked it up at the memorial service because quite a few others that were there are sick this week too.
Anyways, Jason & Avery have been under the weather. So not only is that more to take care of but Avery is more whiny then he has been lately ~ which has been more then normal since Jason returned to the office.
We've (the kids & I ) didn't go out to ballet yesterday because of the weather, then Avery's fever and I'm not risking our lives in a car accident OR exposing us to more sickness at the ballet school for one class, especially when we can make that class up. But that means we've been stuck in the house with each other since Sunday (well I got out to the grocery store on Tuesday afternoon but other then that). Yep, you guess we're all grouchy with each other feeling some cabin fever.
Then Jason has this 'retreat' for work yesterday that included some sort of communication in the work place seminar and such yesterday & today AND dinner at a 5 STAR steakhouse last night~which the company paid for thankfully. You know the type, business dress, there are as many servers per table as customers, everyone served at the same time etc. Well he kept saying he wasn't looking forward to it blah, blah blah. He came in at 8:30 last night, (after I'd cared for Avery who was really scary with that temperature last night, it just kept creeping higher!) saying it was as bad as he'd thought it was going to be blah, blah, blah. Then he proceeded to get on his laptop and not come up for air until 9:45pm.
Today he begins to tell me about the food last night. His company bought dinner. Steak, smallest one you could order $38. Baked potato to go with that steak $7, cheesecake that was really good (mind you I slaved over that homemade one last week and there is still at least HALF left that he hasn't even ate!). Then he said that other patrons probably hated his table as they were all laughing, talking, carrying on more so then you'd expect in a place like this. Great....you're out having a good time, a life outside the house and here I sit with the kids. I no longer have a life that doesn't involve him and/or the kids. I realized this greatly while on my trip to California in the fall. Being involved in Jamie's life, activities, clubs, meetings, etc. made me see what I'm not involved in.
He got home around 2pm today, they were released early. BUT still here we sit at 8:10 having done nothing, mostly because Avery still has a slight fever and I'd rather err on the side of caution. But that is the same thing we're going to be doing tomorrow & Sunday too. We won't be visiting my parents as they've had the flu this week too and aren't up for company and want to make sure the germs are gone from their house before we bring the kids out to visit.
So I wanted dinner out tonight, did I get it? No. The kids & I were supposed to have a 'treat' of driving through somewhere last night but ended up eating toast & a can of ravioli ~ whoopee. Tonight wasn't much better, even though we have groceries I'm in a funk where I don't want to cook any of that stuff, nothing sounds good which makes it a little harder to cook too.
So I find myself very grumpy, very depressed, which leads to an exhausted feeling. I want peace and quiet, not 3 kids (well mainly 2 right now) yelling, screaming, wrestling, horse playing, driving me nuts, they just will NOT settle down. I'm tired of repeating myself over and over to get someone to listen. I'm tired of arguing over the schoolwork that is assigned instead of just doing what I've assigned!!! I want to listen to my new music that I got for Valentine's day that I've yet to get to listen to completely, just a few seconds of each song to make sure they downloaded okay.
I want a nice warm spring day so I can walk some weight off while Rachel is in ballet class in the morning & yep you guessed it I'll be taking her, no chance that someone else would get up before 9:15am and take her to class, could be worse I guess in two weeks we have to be THERE at 9am for 1 hr. rehearsal and 1 hr. class, lasting through May 2 when they perform The Little Mermaid @ a really nice museum, art center, stage place.
And mind you I've waited on him all week, he's now feeling better.......now how much he's going to 'spoil' me if I come down with the crud? EXACTLY not at all, after all someone has to work ;0)
Do you ever have days where you just want to say I'm done, someone else is in charge for a while. Mommy needs a break ~ DEAL WITH IT! Where you just want everyone to stop talking to you and leave you alone for a little while? Jamie, I so could use another visit LOL!! NOT gonna happen unfortunately. If not then I'm the bad mommy out of all of us I guess.
PS.........Whatch'a think of the new background? I found a awesome site with free background and super EASY directions to snag it from. I'll post a link later ;0) Now I just need a nice new banner too, just not sure what to put there!