Monday, March 24, 2008

Like a spoiled brat

Yes, yesterday was my birthday and I find myself feeling like a spoiled child.

Not because I received an abundance of gifts or anything. More from the opposite. Because, it wasn't made a big deal out of. Because it was just another ho-hum bad day for me. The older two refused to have anything to do with the younger one ~ who feels bad as it is~ so he's crying cause they won't play with him most of the day.

Hubby offered to take me out but with the two older ones who took 2+hours to do 6 pages of schoolwork, and a baby who is coughing his head off I told him I didn't want to go anywhere with these kids behaving ( or mis-behaving ) like that. I'd just be stressed at a restaurant when J. & R. didn't settle down and behave like they should in a public restaruant. And if A. has a fever he doesn't need to go out....then again I'm still stumped as to HOW he got sick again when we were in the house all week last week except for ballet, then he was in van as I ran some errands while R. was in class.

So I found myself upset & crying because no one made an effort to do anything nice for me. No one (read dh as the kids aren't old enough to drive themselves ;) ) made the effort to pick me up a gift. And I know it isn't all about gifts but everyone else in this house will get something for their birthday WHY shouldn't I?

Hubby is going to TN for 3 days next week. Well, leaving EARLY Wed. and returning LATE Friday for work. And now I will admit it.....I am deeply jealous. I He did ask me before he told his boss he could go & I said go ahead. Seriously, he's only here 3-4 hours in the evening so what is the difference? I am the one who LOVES to travel. To get out of the house and do something, he's perfectly happy sitting here doing nothing, like we did on Sunday....we did absolutely nothing! I only get a few chances to get out during the week and Saturday was one of those chances, we were at my parents like 2 hours and he insisterd we needed to come home.

I'm going to be here, most likely stuck in the house with the kids, as we have ballet Thursday & Friday so can't really make plans to go somewhere even if the weather is going to be nice.....which I'm doubting. (Did I mention it snowed here overnight?) I'm sick of the cold!

It was just a bad day. My emotions are out of whack once again. I'm seriously thinking it's this new b.c. pill I'm on. One that I'd love to not be on, but we're done having kids and as of yet I haven't talked him into going to be 'snipped'. I'm such a fertile mrytle I don't really trust anything else.

My weight is really irking me. I've realized that I now weigh 35-40lbs. more then I did when I graduated highschool in 1994. Which is 30-35lbs. more then I did when we got married in 1995. And I know for a fact that it's 23 lbs. MORE then I weighed when I got pregnant with Avery in 2003. I had lost 13 lbs. in a few short weeks before getting pregnant. I think the lack of the pill AND teh fact that I got out and walked 6+ miles a week were the result of that. We no longer live beside that park with the walking track. No, now we live...not exactly somwhere I can walk with 3 kids. And I can't hardly get out of here when he's here either, someone has to do dinner, clean up, bathe the kids, put the kids to bed etc.

SEE? I'm just a all around grouchy kind of person. I don't want to be so moody. I don't want to be so heavy. I don't want to unpack my summer clothes to see what doesn't fit this year ~ some of what didn't fit last year but I kept telling myself would this year & I've done nothing about it since. I don't want to be so stressed over the kids being wild I want them to settle down sometimes ;0) I want some new clothes but I don't want to go up another size to get them.

Don't mind me.....I just want to sit and pout like a spoiled brat.


Julie said...

Oh sweetie you're not a brat! I'm sorry your birthday was uncelebrated...((hugs))

Jen said...

You are NOT a spoiled brat and have every reason to feel the way you do. It doesn't matter that we are older and have kids etc. We still should be recognized on our birthdays. In my opinion, besides mother's day, it's a day for your family/friends to show their utmost appreciation for all that you do for them. You should be crowned as a saint or a queen or anything like that. You are an amazing mother who puts your kids and hubby before yourself and all you need is some appreciation and genuine thanks for all that you do!! Shoot, if I knew your address, I would've sent you something. I think you are amazing! I hate when I have days where I feel like this, but it saddens me that you had to feel like this on and right after your birthday. AWFUL! I hope your hubby can make it up to you and I hope your little one gets better soon! Happy Late Birthday!!! I hope next year is 100% better than this year.

Oh and as for me going private, I TOTALLY want you to still come and read. I just need a gmail address from you so I can add it and it will let you read my blog. I understand if this is something you don't feel comfortable with. I truly do. Maybe if you don't have one you like to give out and you're bored sometime (ya right, you are always so busy being a terrific mom) that you could make a generic gmail acct and give me that one and I'll add it. You just have to sign in with that one when it asks for it when viewing my blog. It won't ask you to sign in if it's the main gmail address you use to login to your blog. Oh and my URL will stay the same for the time being. I'm only gonna change that down the road after we get back from Florida. Sorry for the novel and sorry you had a crappy day!!

My email is

jenn said...

Everyone deserves a gift on their birthday. I'm so sorry your's was so horrible. Tell hubby how you're feeling, so maybe next year he'll make more of an effort.


Hey it's Amy Shipp said...

Aw Jennifer! You need a hug! Big {{Hugs}} to you from me!! So sorry you didn't have the birthday of your dreams. I have been there too. Hopefully, next year will be fantastic.
Thank you for visiting me while I was on vaca, and for all your nice comments! You're a ♥sweetheart!

Angela said...

Oh, Jennifer! I am so sorry you had that kind of day on your birthday! In many ways I know just how you feel about the whole birthday thing- my husband is ALWAYS out of town, every year, on my birthday - so I always have a day of "more of the same"- taking care of the kids, wiping noses, changing diapers. BLAH.

Sometimes it is SO hard being a SAHM and especially one that home schools! But, hang in there. Though our days seem so ordinary and monotanous, what you are doing is so extraordinary in the life of your precious children. You are making a huge, life impacting influence on your kids by being home with them, being the one to raise them, and being the one to train them up and educate them.

Hang in there!! Hope your day is better today ;)

Deb - Mom of 3 Girls said...

Oh I'm so sorry that you didn't have a better birthday. I've felt the same way in the past too. It seems like we make so much effort for everyone else that it feels like someone else should do the same for us. And they should - you deserve it!!

I'm with you on the whole weight issue too - finding the time and energy to be able to get out and get moving is so difficult... I'm dreading the whole summer clothes thing too.

Then again, at this rate, summer might never come - will the cold never end?! Sigh...

forgetfulone said...

We're all entitled to feel grouchy sometimes. We do so much, as wives and mothers, and we are under-appreciated. Have you also noticed how literal men are? You have to TELL them to get you a gift if you want one. And if you say, oh, it's no big deal, they take you literally! Here's a great big birthday hug and smile.

forgetfulone said...

Argh! blogger hates me right now. Let me try to do this again.

You're not a brat, or spoiled. We all get to be grouchy sometimes. As wives and mothers, we are so under-appreciated.

And have you noticed how literal men are? If you want a gift, you have to TELL them! If you say it's no big deal, they believe you!